The Morning After

When I woke up the morning after there was that split moment where I thought to myself was that a dream? But realizing I was in my Mother's house quickly vanished any hope of what I was waking up to face. We had to go to the house to meet with the insurance adjuster~the fire department~ and a prospective contractor. So we go through the house and everything is just in shambles....covered in this thick black smoke residue and the smell. Never in my life will I forget that smelled of charred burnt house. There is no smell like it and once you smell it...you will never forget it.
So I have walked through the house taking pictures of it all and just seeing my life as I knew it covered in toxicity or burned up...pretty bad. I look like hell because it is dirty and stinky and hot but I am about to unleash and it is hilarious......Jamie, myself, the adjuster, and the contractors (who we eventually hired by the way) were all talking when they said oh no there is Rick. This guy who looks like a want to be mobster with slicked back hair and suit on is walking towards us. They quickly explain that he is basically an ambulance chaser but for fires. You hire him to make sure that the insurance company doesn't take you for a ride but he gets quite a cut of the final settlement. I had pretty much all I could handle for one day and I just let loose like a firecracker. I started walking towards him telling him right away we weren't interested in what he had to offer and to go away. He was such a snake and kept saying but maam---blah blah blah I said you better get off my property or I am going to call the police and I am just up in his face and he stepped off my property line and said I am off your property but kept trying to sell me on god knows what I didn't care--I just started screaming like a crazy person for him to leave not letting him get a word in edgewise and all the while the guys behind me are laughing so hard they had to turn their backs because this guy is well known and shows up often when fires happen and this little girl just took him down and drove him out without him even having a chance.....it was a moment of victory.

Nothing as a parent could prepare me to see Bella's nursery below~ this is where I truly lost it because the reality hit that we could have lost so much more.......

September 15, 2008 - the night of the fire

Tonight had to be one of the most traumatic nights of my families life. Jamie and I truly believe that it was our blessed angels above that saved us that night....... Bella had a bad dream and had come to bed with me while Daddy was up in his studio on the computer. He had gone to take a shower and when he came out the studio was on fire. The smoke alarms were going off and the carbon monoxide detectors were blaring (louder then the smoke alarms) in fact our neighbors said they could hear those very clearly. Jamie came into our bedroom and woke me up in a panic saying "We have to get out the house is one fire!!!" Of course my first comment was "WELL PUT IT OUT!!" but of course he made it clear very quickly that was no longer an option. The adrenaline was going and there was so much confusion because of the alarms going off and it was getting smokey because the air conditioner carried the thick black smoke through the house very quickly. I grabbed Bella, our dog Armin, and my purse and went to my SUV to call 911. I have never called 911 and that moment they say "911- whats your emergency" you know that everything you say or don't say is going to make the difference between life or death. I told the dispatcher that our house was on fire and she asked if everyone was out of the house and I suddenly realized NO! My husband kept going back in and out trying to get sentimental items. She said you have to get him out of the house but fortunately he had come out because was finally brought to his knees because of the toxic smoke and he knew he had to stop. They just built a new firehouse not far from our house so it did not take long to hear the fire engine sirens. My goal during this time was to keep calm because I wanted Bella to stay calm. Once the fire engines came the neighbors all came out and our next door neighbor took Bella and I into her home to keep us warm and try to keep the chaos as minimal as possible. It seemed like time just stopped but soon after my mom came to the house and came in and I just lost it~I barely remember calling her in the first place and she even hung up on me the first time because apparently I was so hysterical that she thought I was a prank caller....she understood me the second time I called. When we emerged from our neighbors house it was like a scene from a movie-5 fire trucks, ambulances, and the Red Cross was set up and of course all our neighborhood was there bringing us blankets and clothes for Bella and I and giving us food and water. I was in such shock and we sat what seemed like for hours while they put this fire out and then they said they were ready for us to do the walk-thru because they had it out.....did I want to do this? NO--because then it would be real......it was real and this is how real it was:



























I don't remember going any farther through the house because it all became a blur.

We met with the Red Cross during this time as they not only provided us with emotional support but they also provided us a credit card that allowed us to go and purchase the essentials that we needed to live. After leaving the house Jamie, Bella, Mom & I went to Wal-Mart at 2 am and bought toothbrushes, toiletries, diapers and underwear. I only say that candidly because it was so difficult to think of all the things that you need on a daily basis being in such an emotional state. The funny thing is that I bought travel sizes of things as if we were on vacation and left those things at home...funny how your mind works sometimes........